Introduction

Have you ever said yes when every part of you was screaming no? Most of us have, me included. But when this becomes a habit, it leads to overwhelm, resentment, anger, and even burnout.

Overwhelm isn’t always about having too much to do. Often, it stems from not having clear enough boundaries around the things that really matter. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out, they’re about keeping ourselves safe, steady, and sane.

What Are Boundaries, Really?

Boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves that help us build healthy relationships and surround ourselves with positive, supportive people.

When our boundaries are too weak or non-existent, we can find ourselves in exhausting relationships, harbouring hidden resentment, and heading toward burnout.

Are Your Boundaries Out of Balance?

Do any of these feel familiar?

• Saying yes to others when you’re already overloaded and exhausted
• Believing you’re responsible for everyone else’s happiness
• Feeling guilty when you take time out for yourself
• Receiving little or no respect from those around you
• Suppressing resentment, frustration, or anger
• Believing that only you can do things properly, so you take everything on

If so, your boundaries may be out of alignment, and it might be time to reflect.

The Link Between Boundaries and Overwhelm

Saying yes to everyone and everything scatters your energy, time, and emotional capability.

Eventually, it becomes impossible to recharge or respond to life’s other demands.

Having clear boundaries allows you to know when to say no. You become your own gatekeeper, filtering requests through the lens of your values and capacity. This filtering helps you make space for rest, purpose, and joy.

In my book, Lindsay shared her experience:

“The boundaries exercise was one of the funniest because I remember when we did the exercise, literally everyone I knew was in my yes column. It was a useful exercise because I literally did just give myself to everybody. I think the important thing was realising why I always felt spread too thinly. It was just because there were too many people I was trying to help all the time and there wasn’t a boundary in sight!”

Why We Struggle with Boundaries

Many women are natural caregivers and often give far more to others than they give to themselves. A common barrier to setting healthy boundaries is the belief that it’s selfish to prioritise your own needs. Guilt often creeps in when we consider putting ourselves first.

But here’s the truth: you are the only person who truly knows what you need to feel well and fulfilled. You are responsible for your own happiness, and only you can set and uphold the boundaries that will protect it.

Ask yourself:

Are you giving your personal power away?
What would change if you truly took responsibility for your wellbeing?

Rebecca reflected:

“The importance of my values has helped me to ensure that I keep to my boundaries and do things for myself as well as for others. Looking after my parents this year has taken up a large part of my time (which I’m happy to do), but I’ve also made sure I’ve carved out time for myself, I know I need time with friends and to have fun too.”

Reclaiming Your Boundaries – Starting Small

Start by seeking balance. Who do you genuinely want to give your energy to? Who might you need to gently step back from?

Next time someone asks for your help, pause. Do you instantly say yes before fully understanding what’s being asked? Why is that and how might you begin to change it?

If saying no feels uncomfortable, try:

“I’m not able to commit to that right now.”

You don’t need to justify it. You simply need to stand your ground.

These small changes will begin to create breathing space and send a clear message to others: your time and energy are not unlimited.

As with all new habits, it takes time. Be kind to yourself. You’re creating new patterns to replace ones that may have been with you for years.

One Last Reflection

Is there one area of your life where a stronger boundary could bring you more peace, space, and ease?

If this resonates, you might enjoy reading more in my book or booking a free exploratory coaching call.  I’d love to support you in making your wellbeing a priority.

You are allowed to take up space, to protect your energy, and to say no without explanation.